So, last week, I did the real talk series (which you can find part 1, part 2, & part 3 here) all about why you aren’t really reaching your goals and what to consider instead. The email I was going to send on Friday was all about self-talk but then something weird happened in my email service provider and all of the email I typed up was GONE. Can you imagine what my own self-talk was like?
Geez, talk about meta!
But I decided to take a step back and start again today.
So let’s talk about self-talk.
The conversations you have with yourself are the most important conversations you’ll ever have. These conversations can keep you motivated or cause you to quit.
So what can you do?
First step is to acknowledge the voice inside. They might be rude or mean but they are really trying to keep you safe.
Next step is to listen to what the voice is actually saying. Have the voice flesh it out by asking “why do you think that”? (This might be good to journal, which I highly recommend) This will help you get to the underlying belief that’s triggering the negative self-talk. Once you get to the bottom of it it’s time for the next step: take the reigns.
After finding out what’s at the base of all that negative self-talk, it’s time to take the reigns back. You can start with saying “Thank you, NAME. I appreciate you looking out for me. I can take it from here.” And then move forward. You can take control and still acknowledge what the voice is saying.
Here’s the cool thing: as you go on doing this, the voice will grow smaller and smaller. This is due to a few reasons.
Reason #1: It’s being acknowledge so it knows if it says something you’ll listen.
Reason #2: It’s beginning to trust you. It believes that you can handle things and that you are making progress.
Eventually the negative voice will shift to a neutral voice and maybe even a positive voice that amps you up. But you have to take steps to shift your relationship with it. When you shift the relationship then you shift the effect as well.
So your homework is to get out a pen/pencil and paper and ask the inner person: “When you say mean things, what are you protecting me from and why?”. Just relax into and let the response flow. Do not judge it. Keep going with “why?” until you get to the bottom if it. Once you do you now know what to work on.
So how are you shifting your relationship with the Negative Nancy inside of you? And did this post help? Comment below and let me know!
And if you’ve been struggling with negative self talk then you need to work on your self love muscle! That’s why I created The Self Love Journal for Introvert Women. To help awesome introvert women like you love themselve more without changing who they are at their core! Learn more below!
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